| Afkatgl | Pronounced "Phil" | (It's a long story!!) | |
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| Phil the Hun, Artist formally known as "The Glorious Leader" has musical abilities that continue to stun, amaze and perplex people all over the country. He never lets a good tune get in the way of a pint of beer and the speed of his fingers over his instrument is matched only by the number of bum notes emanating from it. | |||||
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| Adonis Kebab | Only Fezhead able to arrive by Fax! |
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| One of the 2 Kebab twins, separated at birth by Dr Roger Carnage with a Kebab knife. He's also known as Charles Fatless, we are honoured to have in our side the world's most underdeveloped man. His physique does not worry him however and he is feared for his use of baby oil. Adonis usually forms part of our advance party due to his singular ability of being able to arrive by fax. His agile frame lends itself to manoeuvring in small spaces, hence his skill in producing our stage props. | |||||
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| Captain Bubble (aka Marcus Kebab) | Drum and Drummer |
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| The other Kebab twin. He is the Fezhead with the red and white striped top. Guaranteed to play continuously for eight hours in every six. Captain Bubble is our principal perkuss...percush...pickus... drummer. An unlimited imagination resulted in him developing a complete drum kit that fits into a suitcase. On the odd occasion when he doesn't stop, we simply close the lid! As we typically get shoved in the corner of the bar, it is useful that he manages to fit in very small places with his Busker Kit © .Even better YOU can BUY a Busker Kit © for yourself. Just drop Busker Kits a line for details. | |||||
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| Fuzzy | Fuzziness is Fez shaped | ||||
| Previously known as Baldy Fez, Fuzzy had an unfortunate experience during a rare planetary alignmment whilst spraying his garden with MiracleGro in conjunction with a facing wind. He has a hair cut once a month and an exclusive contract with a soft toy and cushion stuffing company. | |||||
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| Scouser | Hold onto your hubcaps |
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| Scouser is our PR facilitator and is personally responsible for our unsurpassed record of appearing at every major musical event in the country ... once. Not many people are privvy to the fact that Scouser once played with the Beatles and was for a while the stunt double for Roy Orbison and actually appeared at many UK dates. We have seen the film evidence of these events. When faced with the choice between fame with the Fab Four or obscurity with the Fab Fez's ... No contest. | |||||
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| Pete (The Flying) Cleggett | Only Fezhead able to arrive by Cannon! |
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| One of our only existing links from the days of Old Ned, and Peter is his great grandson. He continues to thrill both young and old and amazes all with his bright red helmet. | |||||
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| Gobby | Possibly our most outspoken member! |
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| Not known for his quiet demeanour, Gobby eschews the ease of plastic surgery and continues in his quest for facial realignment at the end of someone's fist. Any similarity between comments made by Gobby and any person, living or dead, is probably intentional. When not entertaining Gobby is entrusted with the education of the youth of our Nation. | |||||
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| Scary | Well he sure as hell scares me! |
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| Scary is probably the most energetic of all the Fezheads and this accounts for his regular dozing to renew his energy. His body is so finely tuned that he can take his energy dozes at any time, in any place. Over a curry? No problem. On the team bus..definitely...Over his Beer? ... Well, there are limits. | |||||
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| Father | Our Youngest Member |
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| After serving his apprenticeship in various sides in the South of England, Ken saw the light and joined the Fezheads. He is ever keen to pass on his experience and knowledge to his younger associates and they are ever keen to completely ignore him. Click on the thumbnail on the right for Ken's Folly. | |||||
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| Dago | he's anybody's for a vino tinto! | ||||
| As his name implies, Dago comes from one of Britain's oldest families and can trace his roots back to the Spanish Inquisition when his family provided Bed & Board to the travelling band of inquisitors. | |||||
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| Dr Roger Carnage | Is Welsh! |
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No. it wasn't him in Chicken Run. (Don't think he looks anything like Mel Gibson personally!).
Trained at Paddington station whilst trying to return to the Land of his Fathers. Missed the train and specialised in open toed sandal surgery with skills in removing ingrowing toe nails. Highly accomplished in the prodigious use of his enormous sword. He has been known to draw blood. Most famous achievement is obviously the separation of the Kebab Twins (see above) with the only tool he now uses, the Kebab knife.
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| Snake Hips | Legs like Lemmings! |
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| Shaking Snake Hips was originally spotted across a crowded dance floor proudly sporting his snake skin boots with 24 carat toecaps. The glance was fleeting however, as the bevvy of beauties surrounding him only offered the minutist opportunity to admire his dancing style which was obviously reserved for those closest to him. | |||||
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| Tall Paul | Our shortest member |
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| Famed for his basket ball skills with the Harlem Globetrotters whilst washing their kit. His hand eye coordination is stretched to the limit during the more technical phases of the intricate routines performed by the Fabulous Fezheads. Arrives at gigs on a unicycle. | |||||
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| Dolly | Dolly, cloned from Fuzzy! | ||||
| This is where we get really confused. Is this Fuzzy? or are we mistaken? We shall call this one Dolly Fez, in respect to Dr Carnage's alleged cloning exploits with sheep. You will, however be forgiven for getting Dolly confused with Fuzzy...or vice versa. | |||||
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| Paul TBWRK | The Bloke What Rides Keith |
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| From the frozen wastelands of Oop North (where the M6 is actually cobbled), he managed to adapt his considerable skills in whippet and pigeon training, to form a unique relationship with the Dilapidated Dromedary who we all know as Keith. | |||||
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| Foghorn Fez | Not only gobby, but LOUD gobby! |
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| One of our newest members, but possesses the ability to announce the Fezheads from the neighbouring county! We now have Gobby and Foghorn...and a few redundant amplifiers going cheap! | |||||
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All text and images © WebKrime Dept./The Fabulous Fezheads
