an oasis in the desert of the web
(of Chattels, Props and machinery)
The Wheel of Death
The Fabulous Fezheads
on 1st May 2000, attempted yet another death defying act. High on Bluebell Hill, as the sun rose behind the mist, the Fabulous Fezheads called for silence as they strapped the Flying Cleggett to the Wheel of Death. The crowd watched in silence as blade after blade was hurled towards him and it and marvelled as they thudded into the scarred wood of the wheel. The Wheel of Death will be making many appearances this year, most notably at a few of the festivals we're attending.
The knives used in the act are all individually forged. Used Ford Fiestas were hand chosen and their bonnets removed. These were taken back to Fezhead Towers and stored in the old stables, part of which has been converted to Adonis Kebab's workshop. Night after night saw Adonis sillhouetted against the wild orange glow of his furnace as the bonnets were melted down and their metal tested and graded. Molten metal gradually became finely tempered steel and then balanced throwing knives.
Deep in darkest Kent at Fezhead Towers, the knives became part of the preparations for this momentous event. Those who passed near late at night heared blood-curdling screams pierce the darkness. They didn't have to worry. This was merely the odd blade or two not quite missing Pete. Still, practice made perfect . . . almost.
A new act for a new Millennium, the Wheel of Death is based on the old American burlesque Act of Chopper Smith and his performing Baboon in the 1930s Midwest. The original Act consisted of Chopper strapping the unfortunate Baboon to the Wheel of a Wagon and throwing knives between the spokes of the wheel and the Baboon. Obviously we could not (for various legal, moral and practical reasons) lay our hands on a Baboon and Wagon, however we appeared to have the next best thing in Pete the Flying Cleggett and Adonis Kebabs brilliance for building Stage Props. Warning: This is a dangerous Act performed by Trained Experts PLEASE DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. 
Blind Ned and Knife Throwing. We do not know the details of Blind Ned s brief attempt at a knife act but we do know he met Chopper Smith when they performed together at the Liverpool Empire in 1934. But by then Ned s eyesight was deteriorating (he was already blind in one eye) and it seemed a strange decision to take up Knife Throwing. Anyway there was an unspecified accident involving Buddy Boy the Baboon after which Ned abandoned throwing in favour of escapology with Chopper returning to the USA the following year. Some may remember Chopper Smith on the Johnny Carson show in the early sixties when he performed his lasso and rope trick. He was by then an old man and Buddy Boy the Baboon was long gone, but the magic was still there. Chopper also made the cover of TIME magazine shortly before his demise (he bled to death) in 1969. 
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The Amazing "Frank" Cannon made his debut on 1st May 1999 at dawn on BlueBell Hill, Rochester, Kent. Designed and built around the Incredible Flying Cleggett to exacting standards, Frank has been custom made and features pieces from original First World War cannons. Amid the hushed dawn gathering, Frank attempted to fire the Incredible Flying Cleggett across the arena and into the waiting safety net, held securely by The Flying Cleggett's strong-armed compatriots. 
The feat was partially successful, and parts of the Flying Cleggett did indeed make it across the arena. 
Luckily, the Fezheads have negotiated sponsorship with a large New Zealand prosthetics company who are keen to break into the UK plastic surgery market. As a result of this the Incredible Flying Cleggett is able to make repeated firings. Frank will be making many more appearances at our bookings from now on, so be sure to come and catch us (or at least a part of the Incredible Flying Cleggett!) | |||||
Wayne the Plane joined us in the second half of the last century, but has been living in semi-retirement since 1983. Based on a Sopwith Camel, Wayne spent many a happy hour buzzing around various festivals, in particular Wimborne. He was cared for (for many years) by one of our former number, [kev's bruv]. Who for reasons best not to go into here, took early retirement. Wayne never quite recovered. Though it was nothing to do with him, Wayne took it extrememly personally and badly, and declined to appear at a few events. Obviously this situation could not continue, Father Ken took him to one side and had a quiet chat. It was agreed that he should take a back seat. We are glad to report that he still does actually live with us at Fezhead Towers and we are hoping that with the new century and all, he can be persuaded to make a return. The Sarcophagus of Dhoom (pronounced Dhoom) currently being used is a replica of the one originally used by Blind Ned in his early stage act. We were lucky to discover an old photograph amongst The Flying Clegget's family documents. Five Fezheads in a dusty attic were transformed when it was discovered; all of a sudden there was purpose and a further link was possible with our mentor. Immediate plans were made to re-create the sarcophagus in all it's glory, and we think you'll agree we have succeeded. Unfortunately, the photograph is not dated, but from Ned's appearance we would guess that it was taken five to ten years after the end of the First World War. We hope at some stage to reproduce the photograph on this page, but at the moment it is in a very delicate state and we do not wish in any way to risk it with the bright lights of a scanner. The Bayonets of Baghdad are based on first world war standard British Army issue bayonets. They are obviously slightly elongated to facilitate the carefully planned and enacted moves of the sword dance, but are as faithful as possible. Luckily despite their length and sharpness, the dexterity and expertise of the Fezheads have ensured that fatalities have been kept to a minimum, or at least to the audience. The Rug of Amoc is a valuable hand woven Rug from Amoc, Morroco. It is unique in that the weavers had never before dealt with Finest British Nylon Tufts. We think you'll agree that their perseverence paid off. The Hoops of Destiny are also a throwback to Ned's stage act, though these date from his early incarnation in the middle east, where he used old Fig & Date barrels he found on the quayside. His diary tells us that after the first few appearances the bottoms were cut from the barrels as the fig & date residue was apparently causing a few twisted ankles, hence the hoops rather than barrels. The Drum of Damascus is based upon the city drum of Damascus which was sounded at times of danger during the middle ages. The original can be found in a museum. In keeping with its' predecessor, the drum warns of imminent danger, though this time from the Fezheads. |
